When I was 17 years old, my mother died.

In a very real sense, I do what I do today because of her passing. 

Let me explain that.

Witnessing my mother die of brain cancer was so painful that I dissociated from the overwhelming emotions. I disconnected from my body and sought refuge inside my mind - although I didn’t realise it at the time. My father was too devastated, and my sister too young to offer support. Escaping the ruins of my childhood home, I finished high school and left to travel.

At 25, as I was finishing university, the past caught up with me. My neglected psychic wounds pulled the emergency brake: I got depressed. But I didn’t quite understand what was happening to me.

I tried fighting off my demons with psychotherapy and antidepressants, but the darkness kept coming back. Meanwhile, relationships kept failing. I was too scared for intimacy, since opening myself up meant facing my pain. 

Slowly but surely, I started searching for alternative ways to deal with my issues, meanwhile working internationally as a journalist.   

I found a good EMDR therapist. I went deeply into yoga and meditation. The practice of circling brought much-needed connection with others - and continues to do so. Breathwork opened up my body and psyche further, as did plant medicine, tantra, somatic resourcing and a host of other healing modalities. Whatever I could find, I tried it.

In short, I started tending to my inner garden, clearing away the psychic weeds. In the process, I ventured all the way back into my early childhood, uncovering the roots of my avoidant attachment style and feelings of emptiness, lack of safety and loneliness. And I turned pain into purpose.

And now? Now I assist people as a coach (qualified Co-Active Coach, certified Circling Coach), breathworker (certified through ademenstem.nl) and guide. I teach circling online and offline. I run a group training for men. I published a book about my long healing journey with my father, and am working on a new one about my self-actualisation process.

Perhaps best of all, I’m parenting a gorgeous baby daughter together with my woman, the love of my life.

My mission is to help people rewild back into their true nature, shedding the burdens of their past and building roadmaps to blossoming futures. I’m committed to keep sharing whatever valuable I (un)learn about myself as widely as possible. 

Just to complete the picture: I love community, learning, celebrations and everything outdoors. I’ve been surfing for more than half my life and will continue doing so for as long as I can.